Saturday, January 30, 2010

This is my beautiful friend Rebekah, which I did a photo shoot for while she was here!
So. Yes. It has again been a very long time. And I apologize. The last almost 2 months have been crazy. So last Wednesday when life finally went back to "normal" it took me a while to get used to it. But I am back. I hope, I will keep blogging, because I love doing it!

So where on earth do I start? There is so much to say. God has shown me more then I could ever imagine over the last months. He has worked on my heart in ways I never thought possible. I fail. He forgives me. He shows me how to improve. And we do it all over again. But hey I think I know enough to say that is life!

My amazing friend Rebekah was here for two weeks. She rocks. I can not say enough good about her. We had soooo much fun! We explored the DC one day, went Ice Skating on the National mall. Walked DC in my high heals and 30 degree weather. Went shopping ALOT. Babysat together. Had my 16th birthday party, a sleep over with 14 girls, did a 16 day bible study together, went to co-op, went to church, went to small groups, went to Youth Group and just talked. :)

This week alone God has showed me more things then I could ever count. One thing is I need to depend on Him. On last Thursday night, I had a breakdown moment. I had had friends almost non-stop for the last month. They were all gone. No one could talk. I was lonely. I was crying out, I just wanted someone. But God was there, He heard me. He quietly whispered in my ear "Your life does not depend on man, It depends on ME alone. I am here for you. I am the ultimate friend. Just let me wrap my arms around you. Lean on me." It was quite the realization for me. Even though my friends are complete blessings from God, and He has placed each one in my life for a reason, I still need to depend on HIM first and always :)

Last friday I spent the whole day babysitting for some of my absolute favorite kids on the planet. A three year-old girl and one year-old boy. They are both totally precious. But very exhausting. I can not explain chasing two rambunctious kids through the house all day, (because it is too cold to go outside) Now don't get me wrong. It was a blast. It was so much fun! But by the end of the day I was pretty darn tired. And I will admit, that the thought came into my mind... "if this is what mother's do all day long every day for their lives, is this what I really want to do?" But with in 30 seconds the thought flooded from my head. The little girl came up, and with a huge smile on her face said "Bekah, I love you, very much." She gave me a big old hug and kiss. Then the little boy gave me a grin, one that lights up you whole life. Right then I knew. Motherhood is hard. I will not even begin to say I know how hard it is, because I don't even grasp it. But I do know it is hard. But, oh I know it is also SO worth it. Those little LIVES that you are raising, the precious miracles God has made. God has been confirming what I realized every day this week. In many different ways and forms. It is just so cool the way God has set this life up. He is pretty darn smart!!

So I think I need to go to bed now... but I hope that updated you a little bit!


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