Saturday, January 30, 2010

This is my beautiful friend Rebekah, which I did a photo shoot for while she was here!
So. Yes. It has again been a very long time. And I apologize. The last almost 2 months have been crazy. So last Wednesday when life finally went back to "normal" it took me a while to get used to it. But I am back. I hope, I will keep blogging, because I love doing it!

So where on earth do I start? There is so much to say. God has shown me more then I could ever imagine over the last months. He has worked on my heart in ways I never thought possible. I fail. He forgives me. He shows me how to improve. And we do it all over again. But hey I think I know enough to say that is life!

My amazing friend Rebekah was here for two weeks. She rocks. I can not say enough good about her. We had soooo much fun! We explored the DC one day, went Ice Skating on the National mall. Walked DC in my high heals and 30 degree weather. Went shopping ALOT. Babysat together. Had my 16th birthday party, a sleep over with 14 girls, did a 16 day bible study together, went to co-op, went to church, went to small groups, went to Youth Group and just talked. :)

This week alone God has showed me more things then I could ever count. One thing is I need to depend on Him. On last Thursday night, I had a breakdown moment. I had had friends almost non-stop for the last month. They were all gone. No one could talk. I was lonely. I was crying out, I just wanted someone. But God was there, He heard me. He quietly whispered in my ear "Your life does not depend on man, It depends on ME alone. I am here for you. I am the ultimate friend. Just let me wrap my arms around you. Lean on me." It was quite the realization for me. Even though my friends are complete blessings from God, and He has placed each one in my life for a reason, I still need to depend on HIM first and always :)

Last friday I spent the whole day babysitting for some of my absolute favorite kids on the planet. A three year-old girl and one year-old boy. They are both totally precious. But very exhausting. I can not explain chasing two rambunctious kids through the house all day, (because it is too cold to go outside) Now don't get me wrong. It was a blast. It was so much fun! But by the end of the day I was pretty darn tired. And I will admit, that the thought came into my mind... "if this is what mother's do all day long every day for their lives, is this what I really want to do?" But with in 30 seconds the thought flooded from my head. The little girl came up, and with a huge smile on her face said "Bekah, I love you, very much." She gave me a big old hug and kiss. Then the little boy gave me a grin, one that lights up you whole life. Right then I knew. Motherhood is hard. I will not even begin to say I know how hard it is, because I don't even grasp it. But I do know it is hard. But, oh I know it is also SO worth it. Those little LIVES that you are raising, the precious miracles God has made. God has been confirming what I realized every day this week. In many different ways and forms. It is just so cool the way God has set this life up. He is pretty darn smart!!

So I think I need to go to bed now... but I hope that updated you a little bit!


Sunday, January 3, 2010


It is already twenty-ten. So hard to belive. And I have no where near finished posting the best of 2009, so I will be posting more all through January!

I am very much looking forward to this year. I have many highlights coming, and lots to do. But as I sat and read everyone's post's about their new year's resolutions, I was thinking, what is mine? Well The sermon in Church today was perfect, so I am going to copy some of the pastor's and then include some of my own.

.STAND IN THE LORD... Whatever He chooses to bring my way in the next year.. I know HE will be my driver, the one that keeps me going through all the wonderful high's and harder low's.

. Choose Joy. Happiness, and joy are choices. Not feelings. Choices. Every morning, I want to get up and CHOOSE to be happy. Look at stuff on the bright side. Live for God, and Love for God, be Joyful for God.

.Focus on others. Though many people's resolutions are all on THEIR goals for the future, (and most of mine are too) I want a lot of the next year to be focused on others. Not myself. I want to help, care for, and LOVE others, just like God does for me everyday. Specific ways I can do this? Spend more time with family, reach out when babysitting, not be afraid to share God with others, and give more of my money, stuff and time to others.

Pray, don't worry. This is just something that is hard for me. I am very type A, so therefore I tend to worry about everything. All the plans, the exactness of everything. But this year I want to give those over to God, not only not worry about them, but let God lead me in the ways HE wants me to go. And Pray. Pray much more. Pray about the things I truly desire, pray for others, pray during the high's and low's. PRAY!

Forgive in relationships. This is something I never thought I had a problem with. But God has been showing me just in the last day, that even though I don't have a huge grudge in my heart, I still do have trouble forgiving, and this is something I definitely need to work on.

Ok so there were two more in the sermon, but I want to apply those very specifically in my own ways so I have saved them for last.

Be Gentle. This is something God has truly been convicting me in, VERY much. So over the next year I want to strive to be more gentle in my manner, words, voice and touch. I want to apply these VERY specifically to my life. In my manner, I want to act gently towards everyone, but start working very hard on it towards my family. This means, sharing everything, being willing to give up remotes, spots, chairs, places, time, fun, food, and sweets for my siblings or parents. Not to argue over any of the past listed things, and to be grateful for what I do get, and to be graceful in the way I do it. In my words, I want to work very hard on not using words that hurt others. This means specifically with my family, when someone makes me mad, to return with words filled with LOVE and GRACE. When I don't get what I want, to still use those words filled with LOVE and GRACE. Also to learn when to see the time to use no words at all, or to speak when it is very hard. In my voice, I want to mainly strive to keep it gentle at ALL times. Wether my siblings or parents have made me mad, or I just am not having a good day. To never let me anger get the better of me. Keep my voice calm and gentle, as if I were talking to a bear :) This is something that I think will be very hard for me to accomplish, and I only will with the grace and strength of God! And in my touch. To use it wisely. To use it more with my siblings in a gentle manner, but also NEVER use it when angry. To not hit, pinch, bite, or kick, even in teasing.

And the next was Be Self-controlled. I am going to apply this to my physical area of life. Mainly my fitness. I am going to strive to become more fit, and not only do it, but keep my body fit and healthy, and have fun while I am doing it. How am I going to do this specifically? Mainly by spending more time doing physical activities. Give up most of my TV time to go outside and play. Play with my brothers, hid'n'seek or tag, teach them games like ultimate frisbee, go on walks with kids, go on bike rides with my mother, sit and do school outside (in better weather.) Do anything possible to get my self outside and moving. And also to eat healthier. This does not mean I am going to not eat sweets, becuase at the moment, I think it is ok for me to. But this means to control the amount of food I eat, (even meals) to stop when my body is full, and not eat till it is hungry again. To eat an apple for snack instead of chips, and to choose a salad over chicken nuggets for lunch. To give my self small servings of dessert and enjoy the little bit I get.

And last but definitely not least to LOVE. To LOVE everyone. Not with the word love, but with the true LOVE the LOVE from the bible. I love this verse, but never really thought about how I can apply it to my life. How I can truly really LOVE everyone like the verse says.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails.

I pray that all of these, I will do with God by my side, and fully believing He can help me do anything.